Thursday, March 8, 2007

The Ultimate Warrior's Ultimate Legal Representative

Watching the Warrior today made me think of something I read a while back. The comedy website somethingawful.com ran the Warrior's webpage as their Awful Link of the Day, due to a controversial appearance at the University of Connecticut. (The video can be found
here
for those of you who wish to view it; it's long, and, well, I've got shit to do.

Famed for his articulate command of the English language, Warrior went on to become a conservative speaker and commentator, and runs a blog at ultimatewarrior.com. It's amusing reading that I recommend for everyone.

It seems to be the characters created for pro wrestling would have limited application for career transitions. Movies are a possibility (lest we forget the extensive works of Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper and The Rock), but beyond that, how to make the transition? Faces could be effective spokes-mascots, I suppose, but pro wrestling personas don't seem to lend themselves well to politics, even if pro wrestlers do. (I, too, was rather surprised to note that Predator features more future governors than any other fiction film ever made, with the possible exception of The Running Man.) And assuming for the sake of argument that political speaking was a good match for former pro wrestlers, it still seems like a bad idea if you are specifically known for being incoherent and insane.

So, it strikes me as an odd pairing. It's a necessary conceit for the face/heel system to work that the performers not believe their own bullshit too strongly. Where exactly does Warrior come into that conceit? At any rate, Richard Kyanka of something awful received an email threatening a lawsuit, and hilarity ensued. The original Awful Link of the Day seems to be lost to the ages, but the record of the legal battle is preserved for posterity.

5 comments:

Sam Ford said...

There's one major vocation that seems to follow pro wrestler that you forgot, Peter: preacher. Here are a list of people who have entered into ministering one way or another, either through religious speaking or pastoring, evangalism, etc.: Nikita Koloff, "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, Tully Blanchard, off the top of my head, as well as Ivan Koloff. Now THAT'S a fun link. Even the pimp manager Slick we saw yesterday eventually became Reverend Slick on WWE's show and was the pastor of a church in Texas, where Bobby "The Brain" Heenan went and made change in the offering plate.

As for Warrior, maybe I should have gotten HIM to speak at CMS Colloquium instead.

Peter "The Malcontent" Rauch said...

Damn, I don't know how I missed that one. It seems obvious in retrospect, and the post seems incomplete without it. Oh well.

As for getting Warrior at colloquium, it'd certainly get the program some publicity.

Brian "Louxchador" Loux said...

TEAR DOWN THE COCKPIT DOORS!

Luis Tenorio said...

I do see an issue with wrestlers trying to make career transitions. It is pretty hard out there. I think it is a similar problem that certain comedic actors face in that they are known for only playing one character and so it is hard to see them as anything or anyone else. The same could be said about wrestlers. The Rock and Hulk Hogan are characters and when they do land an acting role, they might be expected to play a character similar to their wrestling persona. So there is not much consistent work they can find as actors. I believe that the most successful ex-wrestlers are those who continue to work behind the scenes in promotions and turn into bookers and writers. We all know the McMahon family runs things in the WWE so expect to see Triple H possibly land in the Mr McMahon role or start a rivalry with Shane McMahon.

Sam Ford said...

You make some great points, Luis, regarding wrestlers trying to transition. WWE.com has a great "Where Are They Now" section, and it's great to see some guys find life after wrestling, running a business or something of the sort. On the other hand, other guys just hang onto it well past their physical prime, yet never land a WWE backstage job, either, which can be kind of sad. Certainly, WWE doesn't have enough room backstage to hire every old wrestler to become an agent or a writer, so I think the wrestlers' advice that anyone interested in the business get a college degree first is a sound one, because life after wrestling is very hard on many people.